Awesome Husbands

So, I was looking for a past email when I came across this email chain. James was awesome to have friends and family send emails to Paige on the anniversary of her diagnosis. It made me so grateful that she has a husband that was thoughtful enough to initiate this and it made me so grateful that I have a husband who writes so well and captured her perfectly. It made me so happy to read it again - with tears running down my cheeks:

From: Paige Cahoon
Subject: Re: Paige is all the rage
To: "Shawn OLeary"
Date: Friday, October 15, 2010, 1:06 PM

Dear Shawn,
Thanks for taking the time to write such a nice email. It made me cry more than once. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, and you must know you really do have a way with words, and that will make you a wonderful attorney! Thanks for sharing your wife with me, she means the world to me:) Thanks again for being so sincere, I really appreciate it.
Love,
Paige

--- On Fri, 10/15/10, Shawn OLeary wrote:

From: Shawn OLeary
Subject: Paige is all the rage
To: paigecahoon@yahoo.com
Date: Friday, October 15, 2010, 11:00 AM

Hey sister-in-law-

According to my wife, you are the bomb. I kind of knew that when I married her, but I had no idea your relationship was this serious- like if she goes 2 days without talking to you, I am better off just keeping my distance. I remember your mission fairwell. Karmen displayed better water pressure than your parents guest shower. Her love for you is incredible. Just being sisters isn't enough to generate the relationship you two share- it has everything to do with the type of people that you both are.

Over the past decade, I’ve seen why Karmen looks up to you so much and why you just might be the perfect big sister. I know that you are quite the biker and have even heard stories of you beating your husband (on the bike, not physically). I know that you have been an amazing teacher and the best badminton coach in the nation. And now I hear you are not a bad mom either, although someone is definitely over feeding that monster, but I assume its James.

As you have battled cancer you have once again been a strong example to Karmen and to us all. Just like your mission, when she cried the whole time and you remained strong, cancer hasn’t seemed to blur your bubbly personality at all. After the ongoing phone calls when a new treatment has been suggested or a new hot spot has been found, Karmen always seems to follow your lead. All her tears and worry flee after talking with you. She hangs the phone up and speaks not of the cancer but instead of how amazing you are…how strong you are.

I too have been impressed. Although I talk to you about .000001% of the time that Karmen does, I consider myself fortunate to have a great sister-in-law. It’s been six years now and I can’t recall a bad attitude or pity party. All I can remember is pride and optimism, insisting on having fun and enjoying the vacation at the Ivory compound instead of sulking around after just very recently having received more “not so great” news- ensuring that all your other siblings and in-laws can actually get into the house, and then use your connections for a worry-free few days while you battle reality.

But it doesn’t seem to faze you. When I have a rough night sleeping or when I miss my favorite tv show I am a whiny baby for a couple of months. I am the first to feel sorry for myself over nothing. There have been a few examples in my life that have shown me that I need to get a clue. People who see the big picture instead of the trial. My mom has been a rock recently. Your mom has been…well…your mom. And you were the first and have done it the longest. Its old news to you. You are the pro, the teacher. You’re Roger Federer and everyone else is Novak Djokovic.

Notwithstanding your fabulousness, I am in no way implying that you always have to be captain stud-woman. If anyone deserves a day, week, or month for themselves it’s you. You should take time for yourself. Take a break every once and a while to reflect on how cool you are. Now I’m sounding bossy. What I’m trying to say is you and James know what’s best for you- although I only remember you being completely positive, your hero-status in our minds would not be affected if you wanted to eat a tub of ice cream and take a day off. But I am not saying to let yourself go like baby Esme. This is turning into a novel- it’s been a nice break from reading cases.

Thanks for being there for your sister and me. We are here for you too. Karmen constantly wishes she could be closer to you to help in any way possible. We’re thankful that James does a great job.

After six years of being impressed, I’m glad we’ll have your example for at least another 60. So lace up your running shoes or clip in your bike shoes or tighten Stanley’s leash or slap James on the butt and dig in for the next half a century plus.
Keep it up Paige and thanks for everything.

-Shawn



Sadly - in the folder I had saved it, the very next email is her obituary, I almost wish this was the obituary instead of the mess I wrote.
It's still so unreal to me and I miss her desperately.

~Karmen