Lasts

So, i think its typical that whenever you lose someone close to you that you tend to think about your last moments with them. wondering if your last words were positive and your last interaction a happy one... well, when i think back at the last moments i had with paige i have to say that they were all positive and happy. BUT, i think most of my memories with her were positive and happy anyways, not just our last ones. ANYWAYS... i just thought i would share some of my last moments that i had with paige... prior to the final hospital visit... the last time i talked to paige was right around James' birthday. it was a simple and short conversation where i told her about my sewing project that i did that day. i am not a sewer but yet needed to learn some of the basics - so with a group of women from my church we all made our own aprons. i told her all about it and even though she couldnt say much i knew that she thought it was awesome! she was always so proud of everything, even the simple little mundane things like sewing an apron. it was about a three minute conversation to just check in, but it was my last one and a positive one. The last time i saw paige was at our family reunion this last june in montana. at that point paige was sooo happy and energetic. we had a lot of fun during that reunion. and when it was time for us to go home i remember looking back at my family through the window and saw paige crying. she was crying harder than anyone else. when paige was younger she had promised herself never to cry, and i think she kept it that way all the way through her high school years. but as the years continued she let her emotion show through more and at the end was never afraid to show her true feelings. and so, when i remember looking back at her i remember her crying and i know that i was important to her. The last gift i got from paige was an early birthday present. i was about to go on a mexico vacation and could not find the "perfect" swimdress. i loved the one she had when she went on her cruise and so she was just so thoughtful that she went out and found the perfect little swimdress to send to me. every gift she ever sent, regardless of the reason, was very well thought out. i think a couple of my favorite gifts from her were the wierd finds that she would come across and purchase. one of my favorites was like a bar of wax that you use like shampoo on your hair and then you blow dry your hair upside down and rat your hair so that your hair basically looks like an afro, and then you bundle it all up and it forms the "perfect" ponytail hairstyle. I loved it!!! another one was very simple... for christmas one year she gave me a little container of her favorite eyeshadow. whenever she found something she loved she never kept it to herself, she always had to share it with those she loved! the last letter we got from paige was a thank you. Paige was the best at sending out thank you cards! jordan helped her and james with a car rental in arizona and as a thank you she sent us a thoughtful thank you for jordan's help along with a big bag of her local carmel popcorn:) overall, i would just like to say that i have no regrets. i know paige loved me as much as a big sister could love her little sister and i know she knew that i loved her too!!! paige was awesome and oh so good... love her ~ Caroline