9 Years

Paige is the oldest in our family and I am the youngest. There is a 9 year difference between the two of us. Sooo, there are a lot of things that Paige experienced in her life before I was even in the picture. She had been baptised, she learned to ride a bike, she witnessed the birth of four other siblings, she learned to read, walk, run... all of these MAJOR milestones before I was even thought of. I can't say that I was jealous of Paige with too many things (simply because everything she had she shared and never left anyone wanting for anything), but one thing I was jealous of was those nine extra years that Paige had with our mom and dad. I told her that once, how I was jealous of her, and she mentioned something to the effect of "You never know Caroline, anything could happen..." I never imagined in all of my years that it was possible to catch up to her. I am now afraid of having nine years without her... even if i get to have those extra moments with mom and dad, and our brothers and sisters. I am terrified of turning 34, and even more afraid of turning 35, and outliving her by even a year. It's not supposed to work like that. I am always supposed to be her younger sister! But, as a consolation, although, I realize that I may not always be her younger sister, I will always be her little sister! I love Paige very much and think of her everyday.
~Caroline